We talk about leap of faith and the whole partners for life schmooze and I think of the filmi but now seemingly true to life characters of Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire and Will Smith in Hitch...
"...you complete me"...
"...and there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly"...
Past tense is probably more accurate...
Words fail me. I could actually turn this into the worse rant post I can ever write but there would be only more pain in seeing sad reality coming to haunt me on my screen.
The reality is
even if u mend the broken glass, the cracks are still there;
even if u patch a pricked balloon, you can still see the disfiguration;
even if the wounds heal, the scars are permanently etched;
even if u reformat, its still the same machine.
In the weird circle of life, there is no complete "Undo"
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Of False Starts and Introspection
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Black and White
4 lane freeway - 1 lane potholed excuse
cold - sweat
white - brown
independence - in dependence
WiFi - dial-up
aloof - hospitable
DIY - never need to try
comfortable - struggle
land of opportunities - land of history
Bush - Kalam
Civic - rickshaw
Thanksgiving - Diwali
Google - Infosys
me - us
live concerts - concerts on DVD
edge of your seat sports - plush sofa with remote
legal alien - disposable native
freedom - stranglehold
turncoat?
realist?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tense
Have an insipid existence
Will have an uncertain future
Had a few leeches
Have a couple of will-do-anything-for-me
Will have no one to cry for me
Had fallen in love
Have struggled to get up
Will have to go about it alone
Had blood raging thru me
Have a sense of the what heart gone cold is
Will have to wait for 5 billion years to thaw
Had my people around me
Have a terrible time seeing them go
Will have get accustomed to the vicious life and what follows, or maybe never will
Had not lived in the past
Have a terrible feeling about the present
Will have not such a great future tense
Sunday, September 09, 2007
What is my catharsis?
As I fight my sleep yet another Saturday night, I wonder what is my catharsis, or probably more appropriately, my release. What delivers me from my calculated, modulated self into a free flowing human? What's my liberation?
In my teenage days (that's how far back I can recollect my self as being introspective), it used to be music. Just the daily dose of my MTV followed by ad nauseam discussions with friends to break it down thread bare was liberating.. It was followed by the boyish craving of females (not that it has died! ;) ) The off beat movies came later on, interspersed with movies about sweaty females in procreating poses (how tacky! :( )
See, its always been a shifting target, steady ever so little until you become too comfortable with it and it stops being effective. Dissolving myself in work was a very weird way of doing that. My seemingly huge and complicated programs were but a mere speck of dust in the castle I would have wanted my code to be.
What has not shifted is 2 things - Books and Friends (notice the emphasis). Unwavering true friends and the one sided conversations with books (yes, JSha, we spoke about this) are the perfect deliverance for any pathetic mood swings, pangs of loneliness and general frustration at being ineffectual in changing the world. Books are that perpective you've ever had, maybe always had or never would have had if not for that writer putting his thoughts down for the others to ponder over. I digress, but does a writer think about the readers when writing?
Friends have head banged with me, split those countless inane jokes with me, helped me stay alive when puppy love caught up with me, have tried to keep me on the path to sanity when life was crazy. Isn't it funny how we realize the value of most of the precious things in times of distress?
But these have their limitations. Whom can you have at your beck and call when you need them? At 3 in the morning, there are only so many things you can call upon. Rush would probably do.